Feast of Saints Peter and Paul

Mom called to tell me that she is watching Pope Benedict offering mass on the feast of Saints Peter and Paul on EWTN. Yesterday, we watched him praying the Vespers on the closing of the Year of St. Paul and as usual, my thoughts were drawn to the way Peter and Paul are usually depicted in art.  Peter with his key and Paul with his sword. They were such different personalities, came from different backgrounds, most often than not had opposing views, but one thing tied them together forever – the love for Jesus. It’s amazing how both of them were redeemed, forgiven their curious faults and raised to a truly deserving place. As St. Paul aptly put it – I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith [2Tim4: 7]. Yes, indeed!! They both competed well, finished the race and kept the faith. Saints Peter and Paul, watch over me and my family and may we all race.. race well, toward the same prize that you gained.

One year later…

so much has happened.  A year ago I learnt that I was pregnant, with our third child. There was some apprehension and then joyful acceptance. On August 15th, the day of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, we found out that the baby was a girl. Ah! The joy, the excitement. We decided that she would have the middle name, Mary, because our heavenly mother had seen and understood the longing of our hearts… we had always wanted a little girl to make our family complete.  We waited for her arrival which was scheduled for the end of December. But on the 12th of November things took a drastic turn. I walked into the hospital for a what I thought was a minor complaint for heartburn and came out a week later having survived eclampsia. The baby was in the NICU.  Through it all, Jesus and his angels had watched over me and watched over my little princess. She is now a impish, smiling, 6 month old.

On Friday, a close friend of mine suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and is right now in critical condition. After spending 6 months contemplating how fleeting life is, I’ve been brought back to the feet of Jesus.; this time begging for the healing of my friend. All these trials shake us but make us realize that this is part of living and trusting. I’ve been oscillating between conflicting emotions of fear, trust, sadness and faith when a song by Brandon Heath helped me refocus my energies and be positive today; it’s called Wait and See. Here are the lines from the song that spoke to me:

There is hope, for me yet, because God won’t forget, all the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see, he’s not finished with me yet, he’s not finished with me yet
He’s not finished with me yet, He’s not finished with me yet