Lord, with you…

2 days after Easter and I feel empty. It’s the exact same feeling I get when Christmas comes and goes. This time, it feels acute. Like having run a race and not having anyone at the finish line. I know exactly how Jesus’ disciples must have felt. Jesus is risen and now there is this scary unknown. I know the Pentecost shakes them up in 40 days but today I am still being bogged down by those fears that seem to surround me. I love a new song by Britt Nicole, it’s called “Set the world on fire” – I am not ready to do the same just yet, but there is one verse from that song which lifted me today. Here it is:

I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There’s nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do

Happy Easter

Alleluia!!!!!! He is risen!!!!! The dark is dispelled and our eternal salvation is won!!!!!

Sweet Victory! We fall down and worship you Lamb of God, Lord and Master!

Happy Good Friday?

 

So I sent an email to all my friends and my hubby wishing everyone a happy Good Friday. Kennedy, my other half, immediately took umbrage to the fact that it was a day of sorrow, not a happy occasion at all. I was of course thinking of the word “happy” in the context of Jesus’ wonderful sacrifice, which if not have happened would have damned us all eternally. I was thinking again, in the same vein when tonight at Easter vigil the beautiful phrase “O happy fault that merited such and so great a Redeemer.” will be repeated. It is certainly a paradox but isn’t the life of God’s Son completely so?

Last evening’s Good Friday service was solemn and sorrowful. It was also profoundly beautiful. All God’s children greiving for the very sins that nailed his Son to the cross, indeed, we need reminders to keep faithful to his word. I was a little upset when the kissing of the cross took a good 45 minutes after which we turned around and half the people had left the church. I do not understand it. Our every breath is God’s – and we cannot let him have 3 hours in one day in the entire year? We have time for ball games, movies, parties but we cannot sit still and meditate? I am not passing sweeping judgements but I do see how God’s heart must hurt at the indifference of his children. Oh well! Will get off my soapbox now

Getting ready for the Easter vigil now. I cannot wait to celebrate the light after the darkness!

You are Everything

We are coming closer to the day when we remember Jesus’ supreme sacrifice for us. Each day is a poignant journey into his last days. Each day brings into focus why exactly we needed him. Our constant slide into sin is a reminder that without a Savior, we are hopeless. This song by Matthew West echoes that, here are the first verses. It is a lovely melody too.

I’m the one with two left feet
Standing on a lonely street
I can’t even walk a straight line
And every time you look at me
I’m spinning like an autumn leaf
Bound to hit bottom sometime

Where would I be without someone to save me
Someone who won’t let me fall…

This year we decided to start our Holy Week movie nights with Prince of Egypt tomorrow. It will help us tie in the first Passover and the one where Jesus itself was the sacrificial lamb.

For all of our sins, Kyrie Eleison; Christe Eleison.

Judas’ Slide into Darkness

Today (and tomorrow) we read about the start of Judas’ decision to finally listen to the voice of treason. Treason against his God. I feel sorry for him at times because he had such little faith in the magnanimity of God’s love. Nothing, nothing can separate us from the love of God says St. Paul in his letter to the Romans. I know there are many sides to this story and I am no scholar but I’d like to think that Jesus would’ve forgiven him.

Begin, Holy Week

We woke up to a rainy, gloomy Palm Sunday. It’s the opposite of what how I remember Palm Sundays in India. They always used to have a very “middle-eastern” flair. The air was warm, sun bright, the palms crisp and broad. The blessing of the palms happened outside church after which everyone walked around the church singing, “The King of Glory comes”. The service was lovely today but for some reason I was distracted. I think it was the full church, children, many of them crying.  In my mind’s eye I wanted to outside, waving palms, sounding Hosanna. I didn’t want to be sorrowful, not yet, even though that fearful end is sight now. The passion reading did make me cringe in places, it was from the gospel of Matthew which details some of the cruel acts of the soldiers before the crucifixion. Oh well. Holy week has begun. Time to keep watch and wait with the Lord, and to reflect on what true, unconditional, immortal love is all about.

Joseph, the husband of Mary

Today, is the solemnity of St. Joseph. I doubt many people would mark it on their calendars or if the churches would be filled to pay their respects to this wonderful, humble man. I could not help but think on how his life must have been. He was probably looking forward to marrying his betrothed, having children, providing for them – living his life simply. But it turned a 360. He married a woman who was already carrying a child – a child whose parentage he doubted, then believed. And then what? He moved like a vagabond from one country to another to keep his wife and foster son alive. He protected them, provided for them and through it all, what went through his mind? When Jesus was naughty as a child, did he scold him or did he wonder how one would speak to the ruler of the universe? When Jesus spoke things that were wise beyond his age did he feel like falling down and worshipping him or hugging him tight and saying “my son”?

Good, kind, humble St. Joseph. Jesus must have loved you so very much and your requests are probably at the top of his list (after his holy mother’s). I hope you have welcomed my dad into the presence of Jesus. I hope you watch and pray for all husbands and fathers of this world, especially my husband who is a simple man, much like you. I hope you pray for my sons to your son. Today, let me honor you sweet St. Joseph.

The truth will set you free

I have been lax in updating my blog but I have not been far from God’s word. Everyday has been a scriptural treat; the readings have been refreshing, challenging, hope-filled and agonizing. The week started with the adulterous woman’s story. And like always, this time too, I wondered what Jesus wrote in the dirt. I can see the scene from The Passion of Christ and the woman crawling to hold his feet. It’s a poignant depiction of how we should be every single day of our lives – with faces down asking for forgiveness. We know for certain there is a river of mercy waiting to wash us clean and make us spotless. Yesterday started the long discourse to the Jews. It continued today with Jesus stating ““If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” And of course, the Jews, like we do everyday when we deny Jesus, said, “We have never been enslaved to anyone. How can you say, ‘You will become free?”. Each day I wake up with a mission to keep my thoughts and deeds godly and the end of the day it seems like everything I did was contrary. We are such slaves to our human nature. But as always, mercy is there, mercy is waiting, mercy is given, freely. It does set us free.

For some reason as I was writing this post, a song by Phillips, Craig and Dean kept creeping into my head. The song is beautiful, here are the words of the chorus:

Mercy came running
Like a prisoner set free
Past all my failures to the point of my need
When the sin that I carried
Was all I could see
And when I could not reach mercy
Mercy came running to me

No one else…

The song by Building 429 resonated with me today - I wasn’t sad or anything. I just felt like I needed a hug from Jesus. There are so many things going on around me, within me and it seemed like I just needed those outstretched arms – just to hold me. Anyway, here are the lyrics for anyone who wants to know what the song is all about – do download it.

My world is closing in
On the inside
But I’m not showing it
When all I am is crying out
I hold it in and fake a smile
Still I’m broken
I’m broken
Only one can understand
And only one can hold the hand
Of the broken
Of the broken

When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I’ve been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in your arms – Again

I need no explanation of why me
I just need confirmation
Only You could understand the emptiness inside my head
I am falling
I am falling
I’m falling down upon my knees
To find the one who gives me peace
I am flying
Lord I am flying

When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I’ve been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in Your arms – Again

Speeding

The middle of Lent seems to be like an exhilarating NASCAR ride. The gospel readings speed and gain momentum as they approach the final episode of Jesus’ earthly life. Each and everyday there are words that God speaks, Jesus illustrates and the apostles elaborate. There is so much to learn and observe. March always brings in a quiet sadness for me - the end of the month marks my father’s passing. But today’s first reading again reminds me that there is a life which is so much glorious that this one waiting for us. A world in which there are no tears, no distress, no illness, no hunger. Nothing on this earth can beat all that, can it?